What is relevance...

Who would have thought it would be like this. I have been restling, struggling with my own heart spirit and mind. I never realised it or thought of the significance... most sane people would never have to deal with the issue.
What do you do when your false comforts are removed? Up until now the HJoly Ghost has been a great comfort BUT over the last several weeks it has gotten pretty tough having to stand on my own.
I am used to raising hell in war when I felt threatened or confronted. The confrontation was a motivation, the cycle was my favorite ride. As a child I rode the thunder of anger and the lightning of hate but those aren't there for me. I wish to have them no more and once laid down shall not be picked up.
I stand in a dark room knowing I stand alone and rather then make it easy and just blast this place with His presence it is a deliberate choice. Despite the battles externally, the fears and insecurities internally, I won't back down. I have a promotion and an opportunuty ahead of me. Anger and damnation have no place. Its hard to not draw up plays without your star duo.
That is where I am left, standing. There is so much to learn and to grow from. The parts that are no longer clung to a false comfort have to mature and grow now after 30 years of stagnation.
It would be so easy to fall back into the darkness yet its false promises of peace are distasteful. I understand why people have such a hard time leaving witchcraft, the entwined flase comfort of those spirits satisies the flesh and the carnal mind but gives no peace, joy, or love to the soul
May God purge this land with fire before I turn away from freedom. I would rather fail at all things then have the false peace. Yet I know that I stand and will not be abandoned. I will not fade away alone. I stand for One like the sun. For One coming in the clouds. For one called the Son of Man, the Son of God. Jesus the Christ.
I will die standing if necessary before I shrink from mine enemies.And I think of the founders songs...

Thine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord, He is trampling out the vintage where the grapes of wrath are stored, He has loosed the fateful lightning of His terrible swift sword His Truth is marching on....

In the beauty of the lillies Christ was born across the sea, with a glory in His bosom that transfigures you and me, as Christ died to make men Holy let us die to make men free, while God is marching on...

Glory glory Hallelujah, glory glory hallelujah, glory glory hallelujah While God is marching on...

I stand, HE shall pass me by and I shall walk in His grace, His peace, His prresence deserved only by the blood of the lamb! Praise God!

It has been awhile since I have blogged. The process of killing off Sojourn and freeing my mind and spirit has been very difficult. It is not something I can do but it has been a process of submitting to that which can do it for me. That is the difficult part, the submission and the vulnerability. I am learning to like it though.

About  3 months ago  I prayed that despite my own feelings or my own awareness that God would push past me in me and free me fully from Sojourn. Or if Sojourn is me then that He would heal me from the damaged and shredded part of me that is acting independently. And so He has been moving. About 5 weeks ago I was driving down the road when the presence of God hit so hard. I pulled over and wept, then I coughed and coughed and threw up. Finally I was left in a presence of pure peace and joy. Since that time there has been very little. It has been a point of freedom, deliverance and a new way of life.

No longer is my mind at unrest. I have peace and calm despite some hellacious events happening. I have had more joy and more happiness than ever before. Yet I know that this is still a begining.

From here... from here I continue to pursue my relationship with Christ. I push forward and allow Him to push deeper. And I go out and fight for it now. The Holy Ghost has been leading and guiding me in ways that I never before thought possible.

There is a kingdom out there, the kingdom of darkness. It wars against the Kingdom of Light. I fight now for the Kingdom of light. I have chosen that no longer will I live outside of peace, love and joy. If it means loss, if it means humility, if it means vulnerability then so be it. My faith and my life are His.